NCSingleParent.com

Editor's Note: The event occurs on 17 Sept in Cary, NC. Night on the Town is a well-respected singles ministry that hosts events designed specifically to avoid the "meat market" feeling for attendees. Lots of you have heard about Night on The Town events. This is an opportunity for you to find out what they are like first hand.

Dinner

We are meeting at Harrison 's bar and grill from 6:00 PM on Sept 17th. Look For table top with a placard saying " Night on the Town". We'll be on the left side of Harrison's (opposite side with the pool tables). Harrison's is located at 301-C North Harrison Ave. Their phone number is 481-2442. Harrison's is next to the railroad tracks across from the Cary Amtrack Station and underneath the Citgo convenience store.

Football

After dinner, we'll head to Cary High School for the football game (Sanderson vs. Cary) at 7PM. The football stadium is located on Jim Valvano Drive (off of S.E. Maynard).

Small children are welcome. We are sitting on the visitor's side at the game. There is a semi-enclosed area that is appropriate for small kids. Both Strollers and wheel chairs are easily accommodated in this area as well.
If you get to the game later and want to sit with us, call 413-3868.

Night on the Town is a "no pressure" event

Rules

The following 3 rules make it easy for singles to spend time with other singles without feeling like they are items in a "meat market". The rules are:

1) No alcohol
2) No asking for dates or telephone numbers at the event
3) Respect an individual's membership in their church and doctrinal beliefs at all times

We want you to stay in your own church. Everybody will get a follow-up contact after the event. This is a night on the town event of Crossroads Fellowship's Singles Ministry.

Directions to Harrison Ave from US 440 (Raleigh Beltline):

Go west on I-40 for 5.5 miles and take the Harrison Ave exit (Exit #287). Turn left on Harrison and go 3.4 miles. After you cross the railroad tracks, make an immediate right into the Harrison's parking lot. If you pass a 2nd set of railroad tracks you have just passed it

Directions to Harrison's Bar and Grill from the intersection of Chatham St. and Harrison Ave:

Go south 1/10 of a mile just before the 2nd set of railroad tracks and turn left.

Directions from Harrison's to the Cary High School football tadium:

Turn right on Harrison Ave and go 1/10 of a mile to the first stoplight. Turn left on Chatham St. and go to the first stoplight (approximately 1/10 of a mile). Turn right on Academy St. and then go 3/10 of a mile to your first stoplight. Turn left on Kildaire Farm Rd. Go 1/10 of a mile to your 1st stoplight and turn left on Walnut St. Go 1.3 miles to your 1st stoplight and turn right (you are still on Walnut St. after you turn right). Go 2/10 of a mile to your first stoplight and turn right on S.E. Maynard Rd. Go 1/10 of a mile and turn right on Jim Valvano Dr. The stadium is on your left.

For more information, e-mail nightonthetown2002@yahoo.com

Single Parent Times A Publication of NCSingleParent.com	Vol. 1, Issue 6 Sept 13, 2004

In This Issue Note from the Publisher Spot Light on Two, Local Single Parent Groups A New Life from Pain -- First Hand Account Night on the Town Event Just for Single Parents	New Stuff on the Website Free Motivational Backgrounds

Note from the Publisher Hello fellow single parents! Thanks for subscribing to the Single Parent Times. Feel free to forward this newsletter to other single parents. If you want to subscribe to the newsletter just Click Here. As always, your comments and suggestions are always welcome. Please send them to montie@ncsingleparent.com. Sincerely, Montie Roland Publisher NCSingleParent.com
Spot Light on Two, Local Single Parent Groups Being a single parent can be difficult. It is important to surround yourself with a supportive network of friends. Its also import to continue to grow as a parent and a person throughout the single parenting experience. There are several places that you can go to be fed emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. Here are two of these groups:
Single Parent ABF at Colonial Baptist
Cary Chapter of Parents Without Partners
If you click on either link it will take you to a website with more information.
New Life from Pain -- A first hand account I understand better now why we react sometimes the way we do in relationships, we protect ourselves in different ways depending on our experiences or circumstances. The past has had it's affect on us. That needs to be recognized to heal and dealt with in order to heal. Some withdraw, some go into survival mode and some just turn to drinking and or drugs. Some feeling resentful, cheated become bitter, angry or hostile with some having a lifetime with a pity party. Some become stronger! This takes time! Lots of time for healing and with much understanding to learn healthy interactions... Having healthy people in our lives and being in support groups or book studies helped me learn that process for healing. Additionally I needed therapy with time for reflection and meditation. Walking daily became part of the therapy for me. Having a childhood of many struggles, I than married a man with many struggles ~ A man who gave a new meaning to the word "struggle". Deceitful, disrespectfu,l a completely different version from what I thought he was or from what he tried to portray in our dating courtship. All the warning signs were there but I didn't or couldn't see them for what they were. He concealed his anger and controlling manipulative addictive personality. That he concealed well, for a short time. When he became stressed bits and pieces would show itself, little by little more and more started to show but 2-1/2 years later it all came to a head. I saw who he really was. The disrespect that started to reveal itself started to weigh on me very heavily - This was not something I could live with or stay married to, I knew this to be a fact! I watched how things were unfolding in stressful situations. I became a stress for him proved itself over time - He was having difficulty trying to control or manipulate me to do things His way. But little by little I started to recognize changes in me. I was becoming a different person, irritable, insecure and sad and the depression started to show in various ways. The more stress I felt the worse being around him became. I saw he lacked any compassion or empathy. A true sign of Narcissism. I finally realized if it wasn't about him or what it could do for him or give him, he wasn't interested. He needed to be the attention all the time especially in front of everyone. He had to look good. He became so angry when I wouldn't lie along with him or for him. I refused to be a part of his ways. He believed I was his property that should act, feel, believe and agree on everything that he did. He did not see me as a separate being with my own identify he wanted me to be an extension of him (truly an extension). His strategy was to try and get me to sell my home and move me away from my family, friends and especially my doctors - He felt they had a whole on me he just couldn't break unless he could convince me I didn't need anyone else but him. He tried but it didn't work. I guess having a strong constitution about me gave me strength because had I not stood up and stood my ground with my own beliefs and determination, he would have worn me down to nothing. I can see looking back now, had I stayed in for any longer I would have been to worn out to be anything but his puppet. I was extremely depressed. He had no patience with me and became angry if I was not meeting his needs. I began to get help for my self. He did not want me talking to anyone especially a psychologist. His feeling was that I should just talk to him. I knew I had to get out of this marriage and away from this man. I had to get stronger to do that. I was feeling so fragile and weak in my heart. I was so devastated to find out who he really was. That is most likely why today, I have a real hard time with ANY KIND of manipulative controlling or abusive (angry, disrespectful) personality. I can spot it quickly now. It took a lot to actually remove myself from him but I realized that I had a man that was not interested in my well-being. Today, I do not cope well with that personality anymore. It had hurt in the past relationship to consider taking more from anyone. All that anger, manipulation, control, unpredictability, shame and craziness leaves you feeling so broken.. Living like that was so stressful. So today I am very careful who I allow close to me. When you surround yourself with healthy relationships it is very hard to try and go backwards and tolerate the intolerable again or accept the unacceptable back in a life it doesn't fit or work any longer. I had to relearn setting healthy boundaries and recognize when they weren't being respected. Lorraine Buccellato Cary, NC
"Night on The Town" Holds Event for Single Parents Editor's Note: The event occurs on 17 Sept in Cary, NC. Night on the Town is a well-respected singles ministry that hosts events designed specifically to avoid the "meat market" feeling for attendees. Lots of you have heard about Night on The Town events. This is an opportunity for you to find out what they are like first hand. Night on the Town (Christian Singles Event) for more information, send an e-mail to: nightonthetown2002@yahoo.com Dinner and Football for Christian Singles and Single Parent's on Sept 17th Dinner We are meeting at Harrison 's bar and grill from 6:00 PM on Sept 17th. Look For table top with a placard saying " Night on the Town". We'll be on the left side of Harrison's (opposite side with the pool tables). Harrison's is located at 301-C North Harrison Ave. Their phone number is 481-2442. Harrison's is next to the railroad tracks across from the Cary Amtrack Station and underneath the Citgo convenience store. Football After dinner, we'll head to Cary High School for the football game (Sanderson vs. Cary) at 7PM. The football stadium is located on Jim Valvano Drive (off of S.E. Maynard). Small children are welcome. We are sitting on the visitor's side at the game. There is a semi-enclosed area that is appropriate for small kids. Both Strollers and wheel chairs are easily accommodated in this area as well. If you get to the game later and want to sit with us, call 413-3868. Night on the Town is a "no pressure" event Rules The following 3 rules make it easy for singles to spend time with other singles without feeling like they are items in a "meat market". The rules are: 1) No alcohol 2) No asking for dates or telephone numbers at the event 3) Respect an individual's membership in their church and doctrinal beliefs at all times We want you to stay in your own church. Everybody will get a follow-up contact after the event. This is a night on the town event of Crossroads Fellowship's Singles Ministry. Directions to Harrison Ave from US 440 (Raleigh Beltline): Go west on I-40 for 5.5 miles and take the Harrison Ave exit (Exit #287). Turn left on Harrison and go 3.4 miles. After you cross the railroad tracks, make an immediate right into the Harrison's parking lot. If you pass a 2nd set of railroad tracks you have just passed it Directions to Harrison's Bar and Grill from the intersection of Chatham St. and Harrison Ave: Go south 1/10 of a mile just before the 2nd set of railroad tracks and turn left. Directions from Harrison's to the Cary High School football tadium: Turn right on Harrison Ave and go 1/10 of a mile to the first stoplight. Turn left on Chatham St. and go to the first stoplight (approximately 1/10 of a mile). Turn right on Academy St. and then go 3/10 of a mile to your first stoplight. Turn left on Kildaire Farm Rd. Go 1/10 of a mile to your 1st stoplight and turn left on Walnut St. Go 1.3 miles to your 1st stoplight and turn right (you are still on Walnut St. after you turn right). Go 2/10 of a mile to your first stoplight and turn right on S.E. Maynard Rd. Go 1/10 of a mile and turn right on Jim Valvano Dr. The stadium is on your left. For more information, e-mail nightonthetown2002@yahoo.com