In a perfect world, two mature adult parents would discuss their disagreements concerning their children and resolve them without the need for the courts.  We do not live in a perfect world.  Single parents frequently find themselves having to turn to the courts for recourse for problems they are experiencing with their children’s other parent, frequently referred herein as “the opponent”.   

All too often, single parents cannot afford the legal fees which are generally associated with turning to the courts for help.  I believe many attorneys genuinely feel bad that attorney’s fees are as high as they are and they wish they could/would charge less.  How can single parents afford the legal fees? 

There are several options.  First, there are many insurance plans which provide some legal services for “regular people”.  The most notable are: Pre-Paid Legal, Inc., Lawstar and US Legal Services, Inc.  Basically, the insured pays a monthly fee in order to have access to attorneys by phone to answer legal questions, prepare simple wills, assist with traffic tickets, etc.  Generally, these plans do not provide for family law litigation, but rather, the insured is referred to attorneys who provide legal services at discount rates of 25% to 50%.   Generally, these are good plans and they deserve your consideration.  Unfortunately, most of the plans do not let you pick your own attorney.  However, if you cannot afford these plans or you feel up to it, DO IT YOURSELF with a lawyer’s help.  This is called representing yourself PRO SE.  I call it ghost writing when I provide this service to clients. 

Family law can be complicated and I do not recommend pro se representation lightly.  But, there are some cases which are more conducive to being handled without an attorney than others and occasionally, not having an attorney that you are paying hourly, can give you a negotiating advantage.  Let me explain. 

Representing yourself pro se would typically not be advisable in cases involving serious allegations of sexual or physical abuse because it may be too much of a strain to have to deal with those emotional issues and effectively attend to the court proceeding.  This is why many family law attorneys hire other lawyers to represent them in family law court. 

Keep in mind that most cases, even the nasty ones, are settled without having a trial.  Most courts mandate mediation in custody cases.  Once you know what to expect in mediation and what to ask for, you can generally handle that yourself.  Child support is typically just a mathematics equation.  Again, the key, is knowing what to ask for and what to expect.  Recently, I have found that courts to be accommodating to the unknowledgeable pro se litigant.  Your opponent may initially feel they have an advantage because they have the “high priced gun”.  But, that advantage soon fades away after they have paid thousands of dollars and they have not achieved their desired result.  I find that what most people need is someone to guide them through the process. 

Most attorneys do like helping people.  Let your attorney help you.  Let them prepare you for mediation.  Let them draft your legal documents for your signature.  Pay them to attend court to “assist you” if you can afford it.  Pay them to take your phone calls when your opponent calls and tells you something crazy for which you must have an answer.   You may be able to negotiate a lower hourly rate since the attorney will not be going to court.  This scenario works best when your attorney has advised you that you have little hope of winning but you are not ready to “give up the fight” or you just want a little better deal than your opponent is offering.  Proceeding without an attorney when your opponent is paying for one generally increases your negotiating position because the opponent’s attorney is advising their client that they can pay BIG BUCKS to win this case or they can cut a deal with you.  The opponent quickly determines that they cannot “spend” you into submission.  It is important to know exactly what you want and what a good deal is.  That is where your “ghost writing” attorney becomes very helpful.     

A significant downside to pro se representation may be the obligation to pay the opponent’s attorneys fees.  In addition, some judges treat pro se litigants harshly which may result in a bigger loss than would have otherwise occurred.  These issues can, and should, be discussed with your attorney in the initial consultation. 

No one will ever know the case better than you.   Few people will ever care more about the outcome.  Again, I do not recommend pro se representation lightly but hiring an attorney as a “consultant” instead of a “litigator” can be done and does have some advantages.  Good luck.